


within this dripping pain, i'm dyed by the color of the rain

by nyalex



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Blueberry Jam, Jamdori AU, Self Harm, Suicide, also pretty fucking ooc im sorry, also the ending is a bit rushed oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 01:44:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyalex/pseuds/nyalex
Summary: hina jam! :](in other words, im terrible at summaries.)





	within this dripping pain, i'm dyed by the color of the rain

**Author's Note:**

> please check the tags before reading !!

It was midnight, yet here she was.Hina was shaking ever since finding the body of her most likely dead sister. The first person she called right after the discovery of the body was Aya. The pinkette, being woken up by her phone ringing, without even noticing who was calling. 

“Hello?” Aya spoke tiredly. 

“AYA-CHAN!!” Hina immediately yelled out. “HELP ME!!” she didn’t even give Aya second to respond before she yelled again.

“Hina-chan?! What’s going on?!” Aya recognised the voice quickly. It was Hina. What she didn’t expect though was the fact that the girl started yelling and seemed super panicked, which was something that never really happened before. 

“ONEE...ONEE-CHAN!! S..SH-SHE’S… THER-THERE’S A.. A LOT OF BLOOD!!” the poor bluenette, in a very panicked state of mind, couldn’t speak without stuttering or making long pauses.

Aya, who was now wide awake, knew that something was really wrong. It was completely out of character for Hina to be stuttering so much. 

“Your sis-sister..? You mean Sayo-chan?”

“Aya-chan ple-please help!! I.. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”

Aya didn’t know how to react. She had to do her best to help though. After taking a deep breath, she responded.

“You’re at home, right?” the pinkette asked, just to make sure.

“Mhm..”

“Just.. Stay there, okay? I’ll call an ambulance and I’ll come over at your place. It’ll be okay..” Aya reassured, though she wasn’t very sure how things would turn out. “Try to calm down a bit… Deep breaths…”

“O..Okay…” 

“I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay..” Hina hung up.

Aya immediately jumped into action. First off, she called an ambulance to go over at the Hikawa residence and then, quickly changed into more comfortable clothes and as fast as she could, made her way over to the residence.

The ambulance was already there, but by that time, the older Hikawa was already dead. Aya then saw Hina, curled up into a ball and shaking. She wasn’t crying yet, though sobbing could be heard.

An older man, one of the doctors, walked back in.

“We were too late. She’s… Dead. I’m sorry.”

\--

It’s been a week since the incident, though Hina wasn’t doing any better.

She hadn’t come to band practice, which was understandable, especially after her sister’s death. Though, she hadn’t been answering any phone calls or messages from her friends or bandmates. She looked completely pale, she hadn’t gotten any sleep in a while, nor had she been eating normally. The front door was locked and curtains were shut.

As much as she told herself she wouldn’t go investigate Sayo’s room by herself, she couldn’t help it now. She had to find an answer. She had to know why, why her sister comitted suicide. And the only place Hina knew she’d find answers is in her sister’s room.

Hesitantly, she opened the door. The lights were shut off, it was pitch black inside. Hina barely managed to turn on the lights. She looked around the room, the first things she noticed being Sayo’s guitar, a notebook on her desk and her phone.

First thing that came to her mind was to check her phone. There were lots of missing phone calls and unread texts, mostly from her bandmates. There wasn’t much else she could find on her phone beside that.

A lot of pages from the notebook were ripped off, but it told her a lot more than what she found on the phone just earlier. 

‘I need to keep trying harder. I can’t let her be better than me at guitar.’ 

‘It’s the only thing I have left.’ 

Hina felt tears well up in the corner of her eyes. 

She wished she hadn’t kept looking though.

‘I’ll forever be in her shadow, no matter how hard I try.’

‘I just wish she weren’t born.’

‘Goodbye.’ 

And that was the last written word. Nothing left.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she broke into sobbing.

Only now Hina came to a cruel realisation.

Her sister's death was all her fault.

“I’m… I’m sorry...” Hina muttered quietly.

She didn’t know what to do. She felt… Empty in a way. It was hard to describe…

Without thinking very much, Hina grabbed her sister’s guitar. The strings were worn out, meaning Sayo had been practicing hard, just like she has always been doing.

“I’m sorry.” Hina said.

Though no matter how many times she’d say it, she never felt like it’d be enough. If her sister died, all because of her, she deserved to die, too. Just an apology wasn’t enough, and it would never be.

Hina smashed the guitar into her face, then let out a pained scream. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” she repeated over and over and over again.

Then she proceeded to smash herself with the guitar again, and again. Each time it hurt more. And that’s okay. That’s what Hina wanted. She wanted to go through the same pain her sister did when dying.

Her body was getting weaker, her vision was getting dark. She didn’t have any more strength to hold the guitar, so she dropped it onto the floor. Just a few seconds later, Hina collapsed onto the floor, dead.


End file.
